and when you give him the popcorn,
you better believe that it's not from the show
because that crap is loaded with many a unpronounceable
your child can't eat.
once you give him the smuggled popcorn
he'll ask some more
and more
then he'll look inside your purse for the GFCF suckers
when he finds the suckers
he'll want
another
and
another
and
another
once he's done with the suckers
he'll decide
to ram his head between the seats
freaking the people out in front of him
once he's done ramming his head
he'll want to take a rest
on the sticky floor
you'll try to pick him
and when you pick him up
he'll go boneless and
start squawking like a bird
you'll put him on your lap
and he'll ask you for some popcorn.
and chances are if he asks you for some popcorn
he will wake up at night
because corn is a starch.
the end.
{with apologies to laura numeroff, author of if you give a mouse a cookie*...if you take a mouse to the movies...}
*books i have committed to memory...
We took our son Noah to the Lorax Sunday... He loved it so much that he needed to rock in his chair to calm his sensory input... The movie was sold out and everyone around noticed his movements. The children next to him asked what he was doing and I said the movie was so much better when you rock and watch it. The other children began to rock while watching the movie. At the end of the movie an ignorant Mother said to me, " you really shouldn't take children like that to a public movie, it is very distracting to others!" I told her we didn't notice as we were watching the movie the whole time and that next time we wont sit by ignorant, simple minded people. On the bright side this is the first movie that Noah sat through and watched that wasn't at home! To me it was a success and it sounds as yours was as well just a few minor hiccups!
ReplyDeleteLove that book! And your version's pretty cute too!
ReplyDeleteLove your version!
ReplyDeleteAnd @Heatherjo, I can't believe that someone would be so ignorant!!!! She's lucky you didn't deck her.