the new soccer mom: meet ther-a-pay mom

Then it struck me: soccer moms think they have it hard?

I will go insane sclepping Moose to ther-a-pay during a god-awful Chicago rush hour.  We take the streets for miles because the expressway is a parking lot when we could be just be a family, enjoying the fall crisp air.

Note a bumper sticker I saw the other day: My Autistic Child Licked your Honor Student.  I laughed, only because if I don’t try to find the humor in my daily life, I may just go insane some days.  It made perfect sense to me because Moose just-has-to-lick-the-same-tree-outside-school-each-day.  He also licks doorhandles and people.  That bumper sticker may seem crass, so I am so sorry if it offends you, but I smirked and had a quick laugh.

I look at the other moms at the zoo as we retreat back to the car, and think: How lucky you have it, mama pushing a $1000 stroller whilst your child sucks down milk products and munches on fish-shaped crackers. While little Johnny Blue in said $1000 stroller points with joint attention and laughs and talks and blows kisses at his mama.

Enter the new mom stereotype of the 21st century: the ther-a-pay mom.  Warning: she might be a little bitter because she didn’t sleep a wink last night, because her four year old threw an all-nighter that she hasn’t had since the newborn days.  And she hasn’t drank her coffee yet: thank-you-very-much.

Of which there are a few subsets of the “new soccer mom”:

1.) Ther-a-pay mom #1 who believes enough ther-a-pay will “fix” her child be it 40+ hours of ABA, RDI,  horseback riding, music therpay, art therpay, OT, ST, PT, therapeutical play groups.  Ther-a-pay mom often lives out of her car, which she wishes was a minivan, but all the damn THER-A-PAY bills are stacking up and a mini-van will never happen because they are flat broke.  This mom is also in need of a full-time secretary to keep up with fighting the red tape of insurance companies trying to skirt around paying autism expenses.

2.) Ther-a-pay mom #2 takes her child to ther-a-pay in hopes that a little behavioral training will do some good.  She may even rock a PECS system at home.  She may try to act like a therapist at home, feeling waves of guilt when she’s “ignoring her son because she has to do dishes and laundry” when she should be on the floor modeling pretend play and emotional regulation and joint attention and “oh, Moose’s feeling angry right now.”

She knows that there is a huge medical and nutritional component to autism and speech delays and has read almost every book, blog, and website on the subject. Recently she engaged one of her newest doctors on the importance of glutathione in regulation of oxidative stress.  Then she wished she could go back to school for yet another degree and a rich uncle in Italy would die and she could help all the new families that are lost puppy dog souls like she was two years ago.

3.) Therpay mom #3 is very anti-establishment and eschews all ther-a-pay.  She works with her child one-on-one and homeschools all ther-a-pays.  #3 will ascend directly to heaven after passing go and collecting $200.

Instead of cheering at the sidelines, most thera-a-pay moms are chatting in waiting rooms amongst nannies whose English isn’t the best reading copies of magazines that promote happy family fun and chocolate milk and pizza bagel bites.

Instead of piling little Billy into the minivan headed to yet another weekend tournament, ther-a-pay mom may be making a GFCF cupcake from scratch for the upteempth time because she doesn’t want her child to be left out of the American birthday.

Instead of eating pizza and french fries at the zoo like all the other families surrounding her, this ther-a-pay mom #2 is feeding her children fresh fruit with a low phenol content, flax crackers loaded with protein, and water-down cranberry juice in hopes to improve their sulfation.

She tries desperately not to judge the mom twenty feet away feeding her children, all but not limited to: ice cream, pizza, “natural” cheetos, juice boxes, french fries, and chocolate milk in her one year old’s sippy cup.

At that moment, I decided without question what I pondered in the last post.  This standard American diet is killing me softly.  I have to help families who are clueless.  Now to find an online holistic nutrition program that won’t break the bank.

Unlike soccer moms who choose to sign their sons up for the sport, ther-a-pay moms are drafted into an army of hope and hopelessness.

And I hope to be one of their vocal and unwavering leaders.

*ther-a-pay {noun}- 1.)services that average about $200/hour to help young children with autism, DD, PDD-NOS, ADD, ADHD, and HIJKLMNOP regulate their speech, sensory needs, physical challenges, and emotional inadequacies.